God I wish I had written this.
This is from a Erotic writer that I read.
This IS SAFE for work unless your boss does not like you reading political statements.
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814,000,000,000 | 814 billion payout to the businesses |
303,824,640 | 303 million July 2008 population Estimate per cia.gov |
2,797.66 | Per person in the USA |
DVR’ed Christopher Titus on Comedy Central a few days ago. I liked his first show Christopher Titus: Norman Rockwell Is Bleeding and figured this one would be good too.
http://imdb.com/name/nm0864541/
This one is called Christopher Titus: The 5th Annual End of the World Tour.
As usual he is funny from the beginning.
“My daughter was born in August 25 2001, then came Sept 11 2001. I am going on the theory that it was a coincidence. terrorism, War, disease that we can’t cure, hurricanes, tsunamis, spinach, France. It’s the end of the World Checklist. Pope John Paul didn’t die, he pre-boarded.”
“Mad cow disease, I got to be afraid of (bleeping) cows now? When did it become, Lions, Tigers, and Cows, Oh my. And Canadian cows. I feel like such a puss.”
“Packaging on Paxil an anti-depressant. May cause suicide. So you take a Paxil, feel a lot better and then blow your brains out. but the suicide note will be INSPIRING.”
“Martha Stewart is a convicted felon, and they gave her another TV show. What’s next the “Scott Petterson Fishing hour?”
“We are spending 400 billion in Iraq and the Iraqis seem so appreciative, Don’t they? Explain that to your kids. Well honey, in some cultures blowing people up with a Pinto means, ‘Thanks for the Freedom’. Why didn’t we just send Sadam a Mad-Cow burger and a Paxil.”
“My daughters five. She is now asking all these questions that I don’t know how to answer. ‘No honey, I don’t know how Tu’Pac has been dead for 10 years and is still putting out better albums than Justin Timberlake.”
That was the first 10 minute of the show.
“Our president is a Texas oilman and we are paying $3.00 a gallon.”
Very entertaining.
Originally published at Whyy's Ramblings. You can comment here or there.